"It is Okay to be Okay" . . . These were Cassidy’s words in a dream that her dad had shortly after her death. Her message to me was, “tell mom it is okay to be okay, we’ve all suffered enough already” . . .
My mother died at age 65 on 11/21/2005. Cassidy died at age 22 on 11/11/2016. I have come to hate November (or so I thought) but the more I think about it, November should be a month to be celebrated. After all, November is the month when my mother and my only daughter were both … Continue reading 32 A New November
A video blog or Vlog if you will. Another chance to spread Cassidy’s ashes. This time over the Golden Gate Bridge.
A beautiful day spreading Cassidy’s ashes at Refugio Beach near Santa Barbara a couple months ago. Enjoy this Vlog from Sept. 2017
Dear Cassidy, It’s been almost a year since you left us and every day I ache. Every day I beat myself up for not answering that last phone call you made to me just a few hours before you took your last breath on the bathroom floor. And even more, for not calling you back … Continue reading 29 Dear Cassidy,
The Butterfly Effect is a part of the chaos theory that states that one small change in a situation can drastically change the outcome of an event. The circumstances which originated the term, “The Butterfly Effect”, goes something like this: A butterfly flaps its wings in Japan which causes tiny changes in the atmosphere, which ultimately cause … Continue reading 28 The Butterfly Effect
When Cassidy was alive, she was truly ALIVE! Now that she's gone, via that damn needle that filled her blood stream with poison, I have found myself looking back at all the little nuggets I learned from her during her short life (and if I'm being honest, much of it I learned from her death, … Continue reading 27 Stuff I Learned From My (dead) Daughter. . .
I am the Queen of Make-believe! Actually, it sounded more like this, "I am the Queen of Make-a-Beeve!" That's what our precocious little 2 year old Cassidy loudly and proudly proclaimed herself to be (with a crown on her soft blond hair, undoubtedly). And boy howdy, was she ever. Always dreaming up some fantasy or … Continue reading 26 The Queen of Make-believe
I haven't felt like writing lately. In fact, if I'm being honest with myself, I haven't felt much of anything lately. Just another stop in one of those pesky stages of grief I suppose. So here I sit. . . Watching time trickle by, without her. Sometimes I'm sentimental about all things Cassidy, but lately … Continue reading 25 Be back soon. . .
Life is hard. Harder than it used to be, only. . . not. As Cassidy’s dad says - “the presence of her absence is everywhere” . . . and it is so very thick. It physically hurts at times. No one can imagine this pain until it happens to them and I wouldn't wish it … Continue reading 24 Living Without Her . . . Random Thoughts While Grieving